MzMari3

January 1, 2018.

Dear Diary,

Six months and eight days away from the BIG 3-0!

Back in the day, cuz we all know that I have lived long enough for that phrase, I believed that 30 was old! But after going through my 20s, Im sooooo ready for this thang! I dont think I have been so excited to get older. Like come on, everything is better on this side of the spectrum. If im this excited about 30, I can only image what 40 is going to be like. Shoot I imagine myself on a major glow up by then. I can only get better.

Now as I am looking forward to the BIG 3-0, I am reminded by many people who believe it is their God given talent to give me advice and not my family. (Some of my family be looking at me like a ticking clock too lol but all in love though…) I am not married, yet or have kids and Im like if they give this much advice now, what in the world do I have coming for me later when I reach those goals???

Here’s the thing. Apparently society has this thing that you are to do certain things by certain times in your life. And apparently, like the good ole person I am, I took that as a challenge. When I say took it as a challenge, this is what I mean.

On July, 9th, 2018, I will be 30, not married, and no kids. I do not like to cook. I grew up in a house where my dad did all the cooking. I, for some reason, put other things ahead of my “family”. I say this because I have had conversations with guys who told me that I am the example of an independent black woman. I was like AINT THAT WHAT DUDES LOOKING FOR????

In the eyes of many people I know and see everyday, I will not call any names, I have failed at life. I have been told many things. Would you like to hear some of those things I have been told?! Oh well, it doesn’t matter what you want, I’m the one talking now. So here are a few things, I have been told. Prepare yourselves, because you have probably heard these things yourself.

1. How are you still single? (CUZ uh, that’s just how the cards fell!!!)
2. That’s unfortunate you don’t have kids! You don’t know what you are missing! (NO let me tell you what is unfortunate…Nevermind, I’ll keep that to myself. I do want kids but I do not want to be guilted into having kids. If Abraham and Sarah could have kids in their super late ages 100 years old, then I’m ahead of the game!)
3. Well you know your chances of having kids are slimmer the older you get. (Have you not heard of freezing our eggs, working out, eating clean?? DUH!!! Not that I am currently doing any of those things lol. SERIOUS)
4. You know the pickings of straight men, no kids, and a job will be slimmer the longer you wait. (Little do you know, I’m dating the thug from Southside Chicago. He bout that life and if you keep talking crazy, I’m going to get him to come get you lol )

Well I have decided that I am not going to be bummed about turning 30. I’m actually excited to be leaving my 20s and entering my 30s for a lot of reasons.

As I go down memory lane, my 20s was straight. I had a lot of exciting things going on but I think my 30s are about to be LIT! I’m so here for it. In my 20s, I was just finishing college, BROKE! Living with my cousin, BROKE. Back in grad school, BROKE.

I changed jobs just about as much as any young person in their 20s. Or so I thought. Actually, most of my friends were out there chasing dreams. I caught my dream about a year after all the social media pics of people getting into Medical school. Shout out to all my doctor and dentist friends!! You the real MVP! You the one who held me down at Oakwood! COOPER COMPLEX IN THE BUILDING!!!

During my 20s I figured out life. I learned that it wasn’t impossible to buy a house as a single woman who was a sales associate at Old Navy. Despite what some of my “then friends” said at the time. Also, I realized that the plan I had about getting married, buying a house and having kids was NOT going to play out in that order. LOOK AT ME NOW!! I currently dont live there anymore lol. I’m back in my momma house!!! But not for long, thanks to that one time in Dubai!!! AAAYYYYEEEEE

I think the next biggest thing after buying my house taking care of my credit. I never had bad credit but I made sure to keep it that way. I had to learn how to manage a credit card. My parents did a great job in teaching me financial management but I had to put it into practice when I was on my own. But do you know how good it feels not worrying if you are going to get a loan? Or being able to swipe without thinking that your card going to decline?? Or consistently checking your bank account, not to be financially conscious but in fear of seeing that balance say, OOPS YOU TRIED IT!!!

Around 27, I finally solidified my true friend list. I had a very clear picture who was with me and who wasn’t. Trust me, when you live out of state and need someone to prep your house ASAP for new renters because you waited to the last minute to get your life together, that true friend got you! That friend who checks on me because I’m horrible at keeping up AND they don’t want anything from you, that’s a true friend. Those are the friends who made it on my list is coming with me in my 30s.

So I look at my 20s as a puzzle with multiple pictures. I selected a few pictures that I thought I wanted for my life. As life came, the picture changed, so did the fitting of my pieces. But, I finally figured out the gist of the picture and now the pieces are starting to come together. Now, my picture might change, but not a lot. I might have to rearrange a few pieces as life goes on and I encounter life changes, but I got the hang of it. I am better prepared for changes.

BIG 3-0 I’m ready! I’m ready to explore the world more. I’m ready to take more chances. I’m ready to embrace all life changes. I’m ready for all the adventure trips planned. I’m ready for all of the unexpected changes that will stimulate my growth!

-Mz.Mari3

#yearof30