MzMari3

As I write this I am in the bed trying to recover from stress. A lot of people continue to label my stress as wedding stress. Unfortunately, I have not been able to properly stress over my wedding. Ask my coordinators and bridesmaids who are probably wondering if I am even taking this seriously lol.

My stress has stemmed from work. I went to a mental health conference in August. Sadly, I left that conference being able to check off everything on that list that would send me straight to a professional. That’s when it clicked, I got some issues that I need to deal with before this gets out hand and begin to not only affect myself but those around me. Also, I have been doing some research into different levels of stress and how it affects your body health wise not just feeling depressed.

In the last year or so I have suffered physically and mentally from stress. Body aches and pains, literally having to hide at work to get some kind of peace. Past couple of weeks I have had anxiety so bad, waking up in the morning was literal hell. When your parents have to wake you up in the morning because they are concerned, there is a problem. And yes, I live with my parents at 30. They keep on playing and I’ll live with them when I’m married! Multigenerational households for the win! Lol sike! But seriously, once I had to take off a week because I was so sick, I was bound to my bed. I have been so close to anxiety attacks because so much has been burdening me. It has been bad.

I remember a few years ago talking to a friend and she telling me how she had to quit her job because it literally landed her in the hospital multiple times. At the time I didn’t understand the seriousness of the matter. I sympathized, but didn’t understand.

The point of this is that during all of this, I ignored the beginning signs that I needed to check myself. I had ignored all the small signs my body had been trying to tell me.

After doing some research and talking to various people about mental health and stress, I noticed how discounted this issue is and how this is serious. There are people committing suicide over mementos health issues.

Here’s the problem, I feel as though when I began to become aware of my stress, small things like “I need a moment to myself” or “I’m stressed over this or that” came with uneducated responses such as “oh you’ll be aight, that’s just life”. Or things like “you’re too young to be stressed”, “you’ll be alright, young people always complaining”. Those types of responses are what led me to ignore my body and the signs leading up to the beginning signs, sleeping all of the time just to get over what has been happening at work.

Check yo self before you wreck yo self! Also, surround yourself with a support system. Besides my family, I have an awesome group of friends who have heard ALL of my concerns and complaints and have really allowed me to be open and to help me sort out what is really going on.

I have noticed many people my age reaching out to get professional help. Im actually happy to hear when people are going to get help. Wouldn’t you be proud that someone went to the doctor to cure their cancer? I know there is a stigma about checking yourself in or going to speak with a professional especially among the black community. Just as we would rush tot he doctor when we don’t feel well physically, rush to a professional when you do not feel emotionally well. It really does help.

-MzMari3