As I was sitting and contemplating life and me turning 30, I realized that in the past year, there has been a lot of growth within me that I never really paid attention to.
This year I have endured some things that you would really just have to laugh at and be like “girl, stop lying”. I don’t even have the time to go through the full list. But to list a few, I have been lied on, threatened, given tasks I never thought I could complete due to its complexity, advised to go against my morals, straight disrespected due to my sex, age and marital and child status, etc. Now don’t get me wrong, everything this year has not be bad. I have had some really good laughs and some good days. If it weren’t for a few of my people who legit got my back, let’s just say, a lot of my decisions and actions would have probably turned out differently. But I realized that in each of these situations, I had a choice, I had to rise to the occasion or fold. Well since I ain’t no punk, let me tell you, I rose!!
So here are some things I have learned from these situations.
When I was threatened, let’s just say, I actually laughed. In my head I was like “hehe, that’s cute” and then my brain got gangster an was like “bruh you don’t know me or my people, let’s do this”. In this situation, I had to take a stand. I knew what I was doing was right, I even prayed about it and I just couldn’t see myself bending over for someone just because of “who they are” and “who they know”. What is right is right. I was even advised to bend for this person because they are “such and such” and they do “xyz” and its about “customer service”! I’m sorry, it just was not happening.
Lesson learned: Stand your ground, never bend to a threat. When people threaten you, they believe that you are weak and want you to fold. Stick to your morals and trust God and the process no matter how ugly it gets.I’m to the point that I will always do right no matter if the risk is even losing my job.
I have been given some tasks that I never thought I would be able to complete. In August, a coworker approached me with a task. To be honest, the only reason I accepted it was because I respected him and did not mind helping him out. Well this task has been the biggest project of my year. I have had to learn how to work with people whose views are totally different that mine, whose work ethic is totally different than mine, and even had to deal with the disrespect due to my sex, marital and child status.
I literally have had to step aside and be like for real?! Why am I still here??? Within this task, I literally have had to prove myself so many times because I am woman. In other occasions throughout the year with this task, I had to prove myself because I am living a “carefree” life because I “don’t” know the responsibilities of having to take care of a family. But the other part of this task, I learned that I dont crack under pressure and that I am a planner. I had to plan so many projects and events within this task that I think I really like planning things.
Lesson learned: I love planning and organizing! Also, its hard out here for a black, single woman, trying to be awesome. Shoot its just hard being black! But why is it that we as women are our own biggest critics?! We are to love each other not put each other down because their career, marital and child status.
Also, I learned that some people will be jealous of you because of the decisions they made. (Boy if you knew all the times the way I dress, what I drive, how I talk was brought to my attention, by married women with kids, I would be a millionaire!) It’s not my fault that you have a family to take care of. Those were your decisions. Go be happy with your decisions!
The last lesson I learned from this task was to truly learned how to speak up for myself in the presence of men. Not like a “black independent woman” but as someone who is as equal. My voice should be heard. My ideas should be accepted, I should be given the same respect you give your male friends. I have also learned how to present myself in the presence of those who discount me now matter how intimidating.
Now I had a situation in which I was lied on. Let me explain the rules. DON’T LIE TO(on) ME, EVERYTHING ELSE CAN BE HANDLED! I believe that lying is the deepest level of disrespect towards a person. The reason I believe this is because I believe that you thought to yourself that I was dumb enough to believe your lie or stupid enough to not acknowledge the lie that has been told about me. Also, you felt so low of me that you had to lie on me. We won’t even get to the point of the many reasons people lie. But that was like a stab in my heart because I know I treat everyone well and that the allegations were false. This situation made me want to go all “angry black woman” on some people. I even had to go talk to someone because “all hell was about to break loose” when I started to speak. I was about to be like Omarosa up in here!!! I was advised to not be that “black woman”, which it served me well.
Lesson learned: I’m going to be honest, I wanted to let it all come out and just throw punches. Sitting back and letting God handle it felt like I was giving up and giving in. But I realized that this was a situation that God had to handle. All I did was speak to what was said and I left it at that. But I learned how to sit still and let God handle it. That was hard for me. I like to jump in and squash fires. That’s just me. I’m that person that sees the problem and be like aight, this what we bout to do and then everything is handled. I can’t stand sitting around and letting things just happen.
This is just me making lemonade out of lemons. I am very appreciative of the growth that I have made. I know that I will have to use these lessons learned later on in life and God has already prepared me for them. Sometimes I wish I did not have to learn them this way, but God knows what’s best for my life.
-MzMari3
MzMari3 
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