MzMari3

So I actually had another post scheduled for today but I decided to tell this story.

If you are following me on Insta, you know that a group of friends and I are traveling for our birthday. So yesterday, we decided to go to Willemstad, Netherlands Antilles, to shop, eat and explore. We had a pretty good time to say the least. Our photographer, Anne-Marie was on point! We took every picture you can think of! We tried the local gelato, met some friends, bought some much needed (yeah right) accessories from Aldo.  After all the excitement of touring, of course I started to get hungry and crankiness began to settle in.

After searching for what seemed like forever for a restaurant, we landed in a restaurant. After reviewing the menu, we decided that this was not the place but to check out the restaurant next door. Two of my friends had already left to check it out. The rest of us tried looking for something else while they scoped the menu. After finding something, we decided to tell the other two friends that we were leaving.

Before we continue, let me set the scene:

Six black girls from the US. One black cashier. Three white men in the restaurant, one is on the computer (not eating) and two are engaging in conversation (not eating). That is all. No one waiting to be served. No one even eating.

Now we can continue:

Upon entering the restaurant (Wandu Cafe), we notice that Anne-Marie was interested in eating there. As a group we asked for a menu and we started discussing what we would probably eat there. We literally was standing in there for about 2-3 minutes before IT happened.

So we are discussing among ourselves our food options and this white guy (one of the guys engaged in conversation) comes to us and asks us if we want tea. We tell him “no, we are waiting on a friend to decide if she wants to purchase something”. He then tells us that we need to leave. So now we are like “what?!” We were more confused because we were processing his accent. He says if we aren’t buying anything then we need to leave.

We all are looking at each other like what is going on? We are slowly walking out but you know stubborn me, I am not leaving until my friend decides what she wants to eat. Bruh, we grew up together. We are FRAMILY, I can’t leave her! Her dad will call my dad and I will get in trouble! Nah, I’m good, I’ll wait!  So now we are all HANGRY and Anne-Marie, who was still planning her meal realizes what is going on. When she notices, she is like nah son, we not eating here.

Now lets pause for one second. None of what happened really hit until we left the restaurant because while standing waiting on Anne-Marie, we were discussing taxi plans and food plans for the rest of the day. We were in a zone. But let me tell you, after it processed, Jesus had to work on all six of us. This whole time I’m debating with myself on what to do! Do I go “angry black woman”, do I let it slide? Do I go back in there and let him know how rude he was? Do I give him a bad review on yelp? Do we all storm back and there and host a sit in? (I did really want to do that but, at the same time, wasn’t trying to go to jail, you know how people do black people when they sit and wait in restaurants. And we all know America does NOT have our backs!…I’ll let that sink in)

Do I even waste energy on this tomfoolery?! As I am contemplating my next move, one of our friends was like “nah, dont let that man steal your joy”. You know she was right. Even though I didn’t feel that way and still dont feel that way.

So, we finally decide on a restaurant, Il Barile Da Mario, which was way better by the way, customer service and all. As we are eating, we are discussing what was going on. There were so many things that came up at the table. Did he not want people in there? (we weren’t hurting sales because NO ONE was in there!) Was the fact that we were already hungry and hot the reason why we were upset? Was this a racism issue? (Remember that we were the only black people in there.)  Also, when the guy came to us, the cashier (black), who we were working with, backed away and got quiet. She kinda looked at us in a weird way. Like she knows he’s like this but she is going to shut up because she wants her job. Even when we left, she came outside and looked at us and when we caught eyes, she just looked weird.

I really tried to be rational about this but it is hard when you are upset. I try not to make things about race but let’s be real. Everything is about race, especially when you are black.  I hope whoever is reading this is not that person who says they do not see color! Get out of here with that crap. No one will convince me that everything is not about race until our black boys stop getting killed for no reason. Or when we, as black people, stop getting discriminated for just loving ourselves. Even better, automatically assumed the worst or least because of our color (boy I got tons of personal stories for days on that). Then, and only then,  I will be able to attempt to not make everything about race. But let’s be honest, we know these things will not change, so we have to keep our eyes on Jesus as we await His soon return.

So whether or not it was a race issue or he just didn’t want us in there, for whatever reason. He really struck a nerve. I am still working through it.

Pray for me.

P.S. I did leave a bad review. I couldn’t help myself.

-Mz.Mari3

#yearof30

#30for30